You know you’re German when…

• … You say “beforeyesterday” (vorgestern) and “overtomorrow” (übermorgen) instead of “the day before yesterday” and “the day after tomorrow”.
• … You know that the word “umfahren” in German literally has to meanings; to run something/somebody over, and to drive around something/somebody.
• … Guys don’t have balls, they have eggs.
• … You need to read “Brathering” several times, until you understand that it is actually a German word.
• … The word “eating”  (Essen) is a noun, a verb and a city.
• … You aren’t allowed to dance on Karfreitag.
• … You have ended an English sentence with “…, or?”.
• … You already hit the end of the speedometer on the Autobahn.
• … You can pronounce “tschechisches Streichholzschächtelchen”.
• … Your favorite childhood song is about three Chinese with a double bass.
• … A “Stulle” isn’t the same as a sandwich.
• … You’re used to saying “It’s not your beer!” when someone interferes in other people’s affairs.
• … You “schmunkel” to a catchy song.
• … You call a pullover a “Pulli”.
• … You read “die bitch, die!” but you understand “die bitch, who?”
• … You call your cell phone “handy” and a projector “beamer”.
• … Women cut off mens’ ties on Weiberfastnacht.
• … You actually understand the lyrics of Rammstein and the double meanings.
• … You use “Morgens Aronal” and “Abends Elmex”.
• … You say “Fritten” or “Pommes” instead of “Fries”.
• … You expect chocolate in your shoes on December 6th.
• … You get ear worms when a song is stuck in your head.
• … Un-f*cking-fassbar.
• … You know the meaning of “Pullerpause”.
• … You separate your trash into more than five different bins.
• … You eat a cold dinner at 6pm.
• … People start talking about Hitler and Hofbräuhaus when you tell them where you’re from.
• … You were educated about sex by Dr. Sommer.
• … A person who is really lucky is a “luck-mushroom”.

Germany jokes and jokes about Germans. 16 August 2016. 20 Oktober 2016.<https://www.andinet.de/en/funny/jokes/germany_jokes.php>

14 Funniest Literal Translations Of German Proverbs

1. “He’s playing the insulted sausage.”

German: “Er spielt die beleidigte Leberwurst.”

Translation: “He’s resentful.” Germans do not approve of people holding grudges. So don’t.

2. “I only understand train station.”

German: “Ich versteh’ nur Bahnhof.”

Translation: “I don’t understand.” You might want to try and make a genuine effort to explain. Germans are very curious and need to know every little detail.

3. “Leave the church in the village.”

German: “Die Kirche im Dorf lassen.”

Translation: “Calm down, don’t exaggerate.” Germans prefer facts and don’t like blowing things out of proportion.

4. “In adversity, the devil eats flies.

German: “In der Not frisst der Teufel fliegen.”

Translation: “Beggars can’t be choosers.” The German will drink your foreign beer – for now.

5. “I think I was kissed by a moose.”

German: “Ich glaub’ mich küsst ein Elch.”

Translation: “No way?!” No dark bread at the bakery? The German is staggering in disbelief.

6. “I think I spider!”

German: “Ich glaub’ ich spinne!”

Translation: “Oh my god!” The German is still incredulous.

7. “I am foxdevilswild!”

German: “Ich bin fuchsteufelswild!””

Translation:“I am super angry.” Last warning. Move away from the German as quickly as possible.

8. “You walk me animally on the cookie.”

German: “Du gehst mir tierisch auf den Keks.”

Translation: “You’re really annoying.” The German is visibly upset.

9. “All has an end, only the sausage has two.”

German: “Alles hat ein Ende, nur die Wurst hast zwei.”

Translation: “All good things must come to an end.” When your dear German buddy is saying good-bye.

10. “Get the cow off the ice!”

German: “Hol die Kuh vom Eis!”

Translation: “Prevent or escape a risky situation.” Around Germans there will be many risky situations.

11. “Stop talking around the hot soup.”

German: “Hör auf um den heißen Brei herumzureden.”

Translation: “Stop beating around the bush.” Germans tend to not appreciate small talk.

12. “Only the hard come in the garden.”

German: “Nur die Harten kommen in den Garten.”

Translation: “Only the strongest survive.” This is why the German soccer team won the World Cup.

13. “There is no standing on one leg.”

German: “Auf einem Bein kann man nicht stehen.”

Translation: “You need at least two drinks to have a good time.” Drink up, buddy.

14. “Dumb like bread.”

German: “Dumm wie Brot.”

Translation: “As thick as a brick.” They do love their bread dearly, though.

If you are interested in more funny language, than click here. The following website is about how Germans keep misusing English sweat words.